Step 1: Strengthen Communication Before Tough Times Hit
Military life means your spouse won't always be physically present, but emotional connection is key to a strong relationship.
📌 How to Communicate Effectively in Military Marriages:
✔ Have Regular Check-Ins – Talk about emotions, expectations, and upcoming challenges.
✔ Set Communication Expectations for Deployments – Some assignments allow daily calls, while others may only allow occasional emails. Discuss what's realistic ahead of time.
✔ Use Technology to Stay Close – Video calls, voice messages, and even simple daily check-in texts can keep you connected.
✔ Be Honest About Feelings – It's okay to express frustration or loneliness. The key is to work through emotions together.
🛠 Relationship Tip: When apart, write letters or keep a journal to share your thoughts. Even if they can't reply often, this helps maintain a sense of connection.
Step 2: Navigate PCS Moves as a Team
PCS moves can be exciting and exhausting at the same time. Every move means a new home, new job search, new community, and often, a period of uncertainty.
📌 How to Handle PCS Moves Without Hurting Your Marriage:
✔ Talk Through the Transition – Discuss expectations, stressors, and how each of you feels about the move.
✔ Divide Responsibilities Fairly – Whether it's handling paperwork, packing, or setting up utilities, split tasks so neither spouse feels overwhelmed.
✔ Give Each Other Grace – PCS moves bring frustration. Expect stress, short tempers, and emotional highs and lows.
✔ Make the New Place Feel Like Home Quickly – Unpack personal items first (family photos, favorite blankets, etc.) to create a sense of normalcy.
🛠 PCS Survival Tip: Find a local routine as soon as possible—whether it's a new gym, coffee shop, or local park. Having small routines helps couples adjust faster.
Step 3: Keep Your Connection Strong During Deployments
Deployments are one of the hardest parts of military marriage. Months apart, limited communication, and different daily lives can lead to emotional distance if not managed well.
📌 How to Stay Emotionally Connected During Deployment:
✔ Set Deployment Communication Goals – Even if it's just one short email or text a day, consistency matters.
✔ Find a Shared Activity You Can Do Apart – Read the same book, watch the same TV series, or send each other playlists to create shared experiences.
✔ Create a Deployment Countdown Tradition – Whether it's a weekly letter exchange, a countdown jar, or planning a post-deployment trip, have something to look forward to.
✔ Lean on Your Support Network – Spouses need support too. Stay connected with friends, family, and other military spouses.
🛠 Deployment Tip: If your spouse is in a combat zone, limit distressing news intake—constant worrying doesn't help either of you.
Step 4: Handle Military Stress Without Taking It Out on Each Other
Military life comes with stress triggers—uncertainty, financial strain, solo parenting, job instability for spouses, and unpredictable schedules.
📌 How to Manage Stress in Military Marriages:
✔ Don't Bottle Up Stress—Talk About It – Whether it's finances, career struggles, or loneliness, keeping things inside only leads to resentment.
✔ Prioritize Quality Time (Even If It's Limited) – Even a 15-minute conversation or a short date night at home can help you reconnect.
✔ Use Military Family Resources for Support – Free counseling services, financial advisors, and spouse support groups can help ease stress.
✔ Remember You're on the Same Team – When life gets hard, don't take it out on each other—work through it together.
🛠 Marriage Tip: Instead of venting at your spouse, try venting with them—"Let's figure this out together."
Step 5: Plan for the Future Beyond the Military
Whether your spouse is retiring at 20 years or separating after just a few, every military couple needs a plan for post-military life.
📌 What Every Military Couple Should Discuss About the Future:
✔ Career Goals for Both Spouses – Where do you see yourselves after military life?
✔ Finances & Savings – Start planning early for VA benefits, post-military healthcare, and retirement.
✔ Where to Live After Service Ends – Some families choose to settle near a final duty station, while others move back home.
✔ How to Transition Together – Military life is demanding. Make sure both of you feel heard and supported in the transition process.
🛠 Long-Term Marriage Tip: Keep dreaming together. Whether it's travel, homeownership, or new career goals, having a shared vision keeps relationships strong.
Final Thoughts
Military marriages require extra effort, but they can also be incredibly strong and fulfilling. With good communication, teamwork, and a commitment to growing together, you can navigate PCS moves, deployments, and stress without losing your connection.
➡️ Join the Conversation! What's your best tip for keeping a military marriage strong? Drop a comment below!
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