Base Camp: Stepping Into an Unfamiliar World
When I first married into the military, I had no idea what I was walking into.
✔ PCS moves I didn't get a say in
✔ Deployments that made me both husband and father, alone
✔ A career that had to bend—again and again—to military life
✔ A community where I was the only man in the room
At first, I felt like an outsider in my own life. While I understood ranks and acronyms (from my USAFA experience), I didn't understand TRICARE and many unspoken rules that seemed second nature to everyone else. I was learning on the fly, trying to keep my balance on terrain I'd never trained for.
The realtiy: Just because I had some prior military experience didn't mean that I knew what it meant to be a civilian male military spouse.
The Ascent: Finding My Place in a System Not Built for Me
I learned quickly that male military spouses are rare, and because of that, we often get overlooked. Support groups, spouse clubs, military events—all designed for women.
I could have checked out. I could have played the background. But instead, I chose to own my space and create what didn't exist for me.
✔ I teamed up with Chris Pape and built MachoSpouse.com, an online resource for civilian male military spouses who felt invisible.
✔ I overcame being and extreme introvert and became a mentor and guide for other men navigating this life.
✔ I adjusted my career and ambitions to fit this world instead of fighting against it.
✔ I learned how to be a rock for my wife, a father to my daughter, and an advocate for myself.
I climbed higher, not just for me, but for every other man walking this path behind me.
The Summit: The Challenges That Made Me Stronger
Then came the real tests.
✔ PCS after PCS—packing up a life, starting over, and doing it again.
✔ Long deployments*, missed moments, and carrying the weight alone.
✔ Career sacrifices and professional pivots, all in service of something bigger than myself.
✔ Losing my eyesight, forcing me to shift my entire approach to life.
There were times when I felt the altitude sickness of this journey—where I questioned why I was still climbing.
But here's the truth: this life has built me.
The military taught me discipline, resilience, and the ability to adapt on the fly. It forced me to become a leader, not just in my home but in my community. And it showed me that service isn't just about wearing the uniform—it's about supporting those who do.
I reached the top of this mountain with scars, but also with wisdom.
The Descent: Closing One Chapter, Opening Another
Now, we're heading down.
May 2025 will mark the end of active duty life for my wife, and for me, the end of a role I've played for over two decades.
The constant moves, the deployments, the military-first way of life—it's all winding down.
But here's the thing: the mission doesn't end at retirement.
✔ I'm still here to help the next generation of male military spouses navigate this path.
✔ I'm still building, mentoring, and elevating others through my music, websites, and work.
✔ I'm still walking forward—not just with my wife as we transition, but with a lifetime of experience to share.
This climb has defined me, but it doesn't confine me.
The military shaped who I am, but I'm more than just a military spouse.
And now, as we step into retirement, I get to define what this next phase of life looks like—on my own terms.
Final Thoughts
For the male military spouses out there still climbing—I see you.
Again, I SEE YOU!
I know the weight you carry. I know the frustrations, the sacrifices, and the quiet strength it takes to keep going.
My message to you?
Keep taking steps! Keep climbing. Keep finding your own way. And when it gets tough, remember—you're not alone.
Give yourself and your spouse grace as you take this journey together. I pray that you experience peace along the way.
Grace and Peace!
- Taurus
🔗 Want to connect? Visit MachoSpouse.com for resources, support, and real talk about this journey.
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