1. It's an Almost-Impossible Journey
From the very beginning, I realized that military marriage is not for the faint of heart.
The statistics alone are daunting—many don't make it. The pressure of constant relocations, solo parenting during deployments, career instability, and the emotional weight of military life is enough to break even the strongest relationships.
It reminded me of the reality that not every climber reaches the summit of Everest. Some turn back. Some get lost. Some give up.
But I wasn't about to be one of them.
2. I Had Never Been on This Journey Before
Climbing a mountain you've never seen before is humbling. It reminds you that it's okay not to have all the answers.
When I started this journey, I had never been married before. Even though I had been part of the military community before, I had no idea how to handle PCS moves, deployments, or the expectations placed on military spouses.
At first, I put pressure on myself to "figure it out" instantly—to be the perfect spouse, the perfect father, and to adjust quickly. But climbing this military marriage mountain taught me to give myself grace.
Just like a first-time climber can't expect to master high-altitude survival in a day, I had to accept that learning to navigate military life takes time.
3. Every Move Must Be Intentional
If you're climbing Everest, every step matters. A single wrong move can mean disaster.
The same is true in military marriage. Every decision—how we communicate, how we handle stress, how we support each other—has real consequences.
I've seen too many men try to go through military life alone, thinking they can handle the stress without guidance. But no experienced climber would venture off alone into Everest's “death zone.” That's how people get lost. That's how marriages fall apart.
4. You Need a Sherpa
A Sherpa is a guide who has climbed the mountain before. They know the dangers, the shortcuts, and the safest paths to the summit.
In military life, male military spouses need Sherpas, too. We need mentors—other men who have been where we are, who understand the struggles, and who can guide us so we don't have to learn everything the hard way.
When I started MaleMilitarySpouse.com, it wasn't just to share my story—it was to be the Sherpa for others. Because no one should have to climb this mountain alone.
5. Reaching the Summit Is Only Half the Journey
Getting Back Down Safely Matters Just as Much as the Climb!!
Reaching the summit of military life as a civilian male spouse is an achievement.
✔ You've navigated the PCS moves, deployments, career sacrifices, and emotional rollercoasters.
✔ You've learned how to adapt, lead, and support your family through situations most people can't imagine.
✔ You've become an expert in military spouse life—someone who can handle anything the military throws your way.
But here's the truth no one talks about enough:
Reaching the summit is only half the journey.
Getting back down safely—with your marriage, family, and sanity intact—is the real challenge.
The Descent: Navigating Life After Military Service
When the military chapter starts closing, you're not just transitioning into civilian life—you're unraveling years of habits, routines, and roles that were built around military service.
✔ Your marriage dynamics shift—suddenly, you're together full-time after years of separations and deployments.
✔ Your family routines change—no more PCS moves dictating your schedule, but also no more built-in community.
✔ Your identity as a military spouse evolves—you're no longer navigating the military system, but you're figuring out who you are beyond it.
The descent can feel like a freefall if you're not prepared. The structure that once guided your life is gone, and without a plan, it's easy to lose your sense of direction, purpose, or connection.
Helping You Climb and Descend with Purpose
My mission has always been to help other people elevate—to guide civilian male military spouses as they navigate the climb, face the challenges, and reach the summit of this unique life.
But it doesn't stop there.
I'm here to guide the descent, too.
✔ To help you transition from military life into civilian life with your family, marriage, and mental health intact.
✔ To make sure you don't just survive the post-military years, but thrive in them.
✔ To share the tools, lessons, and resources you'll need to build a life beyond the uniform—one that's fulfilling, stable, and purpose-driven.
Because it's not just about reaching the top—it's about coming back down, grounded and ready for what's next.
Reaching the Summit and Helping Others Climb
Looking back, I now understand why so many male military spouses feel lost. The journey is hard, but it's not impossible. It's about learning from those who have gone before you, preparing for the difficult moments, and pushing forward even when the climb feels endless.
And when you finally reach the summit—when you find balance in military life, build a strong marriage, and create stability despite the chaos—you realize something important:
You are now the guide for someone else.
Final Thoughts
If you're at the start of this journey, you don't have to climb alone.
Find your Sherpa, learn the path, and keep taking steps. ⛰️💪
🔹 Are you climbing this mountain right now? Let's connect. Join the Male Military Spouse Brotherhood. 🚀
Photo by Flo Maderebner